So you wanna be a cyclist?

So you wanna be a cyclist? (in the Netherlands)

Here’s what I think your bike probably says about you:

A bike that makes lots of strange noises means: 

I’m probably a student.  I can still ride it so why bother getting it fixed?

A bike with low handle bars means:

I’m so incredibly sporty and athletic and I need to get to wherever I’m going (probably the gym or hockey club) very quickly.

A mountain bike means:

I’m confused about the terrain of the country I live in.

A bike with paniers on the back means:

90% of the time there’s nothing in here, sometimes I use them for groceries. 

A bike with lots of notices on it means: 

I often leave my bike in places I shouldn’t. 

A bike with no working lights means:

I have incredibly good night vision and will take my chances on the €50 fine. 

A bike with more than three gears means:

This bike is imported from Germany/Austria/The UK/Switzerland. 

A bike without gears means:

I am an architect. I don’t care if I have to cycle like a maniac downhill because this machine is so beautiful and hipster.

A bike with someone on the back means: 

How the hell did he/she get there? Oh well, I can’t be bothered asking them to leave.

A Bakfiets means: 

I’m ok with putting my child in a wheelbarrow on the front of my bike.

An Omafiets (literally, “grandma bike”) means: 

I was cool in high school, man this bike is comfortable.

Holding hands with someone on a bike means:

Could I be any more PDA right now?

A bike with handle bars that you don’t use means: 

There are better things I could be doing with my hands right now; texting, eating a sandwich, reading a newspaper, holding a child. 

A tandem means:

I’m on a cycling holiday, or I’m an old married couple (I really saw this recently and it melted my heart a little bit).

But really, anything goes (ball gowns included)

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